I want

It's amazing to me how intelligent some people are and how, well, how uninformed others are. There is so much information readily available to us today thanks to the World Wide Web and all of the devices that make it so readily available like smart phones and the like. If you want to look up the definition of a word, find out how to make a certain food, or learn what how to say "pie" in five different language, pull out your tablet, smartphone, what have you and boom; there it is. You can go from being a horrible cook to being a champion chef by just looking up cooking videos on youtube and food blogs. You can learn how to tie twenty different knots by looking up a boy scouts or fishing site. There is so much to learn in a lifetime, but a lot of us don't take advantage of all the information that we have at our fingertips. I think I'm in the middle of those two. I look up definitions of words that are new to me from time to time, but I should learn how to do something new each week, no, each day, just because I can! It really impresses me when I meet someone who has a drive to better themselves. It shows passion for life and a thirst for knowledge. I want to be one of those people. I want to learn new things each day. I want to better myself. I want to be better than I am. I want to be a little opinionated on a few topics, because that means that I know a lot about a subject because I've read about it and spent time pondering various sides of an argument. I want to know what my favourite kind of wine is by tasting wines from various regions and being able to detect the fineness and quality of a new sample. I want to learn how to speak at least two more languages by the time I die. I want to really be able to speak them though; very well. I want to travel and see more than just a few states over from where I was born. I want to see the sunset from hillsides in numerous countries. I want to meet and speak to people who grew up and live on the opposite side of the earth from me. I don't want to regret not learning or knowing or doing something when I get older. I want to be proud of me. I want to be worthwhile. I want to be worthwhile.

Happy Father's Day.

Yesterday was Father's day. Many people adore their fathers, some hate them, others don't have one for one reason or another, and their are many feelings in between of course. As for me, I love mine very much. He credits my mother for raising us because he's always worked a lot and my mother was a homemaker. I think he truly underestimates how big of an influence he had on my brother and I growing up. He's always been a good dad. A good person. He is loved by his colleagues, friends, and family. He is a very intelligent man; always seeking knowledge through books and music. He is very understanding and kind. He is soft spoken but his words carry weight and wisdom that still surpasses my understanding. His way of showing love is by spending time with us. He is always busy with work so his time is very valuable to us. He is the best person I know. When I started dating my current boyfriend, I found a lot of similarities between him and my dad. It kind of weirded me out at first until I realized all of the great attributes I saw in my boyfriend were the ones that reminded me of my dad. If I marry my boyfriend and have children with him, I will feel so grateful that they have a great dad like I do. That's what's life about anyway; passing on the good. So, thanks dad for being the good in my life. Everything that I learn from you, I will pass on to others in hopes that we can all be as good as you are. I love you.

The Days of Yore

There are so many things that I want to write about but I have to pace myself and pick one topic......today, I am missing my childhood town of Ames, Iowa where catching fireflies during the summer nights were the thing to do (as an 8-year-old). Ames was such a wonderful place to grow up. It had a small town feel without being too small, well, in my opinion anyway. There were 50,000 people with students (since it is a college town) and 25,000 when the students went home for the summer. It was snowy 7 months out of the year, but I like snow. I love wearing sweaters. Also, we have excellent drinking water and soil so rich that it's black. The people are friendly and the Iowa State Fair has a cow carved out of butter! When I tell people that I'm from Iowa, they kind of stare at me as if I'm either lying to them or they are asking themselves "why would anyone live in Iowa?" Also, apparently Iowa sounds a like Ohio and Idaho because if they meet me again they say, "Oh, you're the girl from Ohio" or "Idaho." Those picturesque towns you see in movies and wonder if they are real actually do exist, and they are in Iowa. I don't mean to sound snooty, it's just that I truly believe that Ames is a wonderful town to grow up in. Then again, I didn't grow up anywhere else, so I can't really say. I miss the streets named Lincoln Way and Duff Avenue. I miss walking through the Iowa State Campus during the spring when all the flowers are blooming and the entire campus is engulfed in the aroma of them. I miss stopping at the hub and getting a hot cocoa from caribou cafe during the winter and sitting in class while sipping on it to warm up. I miss taking neatly printed notes and highlighting main points. I miss coming home from classes and  watching a random movie with my roommates while we actually don't watch the movie and talk about boys and shoes instead. I miss going for a run at the cross-country course. I miss going to the North Grand Mall to go to a movie for a dollar. I miss a lot. I am also happy with life as it is now though too. I love having "family" dinners with my friends and strolling through old town on beautiful weekend days while eating a gelato. I am excited to go to a drive in and watch a double feature for just 6 dollars! I love how when it snows here, it is gone within the next couple days (although I like snow, it's fun to watch). I love how mountains are just 30 minutes away. I love getting a couple pizzas and going down to the lake and finding a cozy rock where we can purch and eat and then dive from (after 30 minutes of digesting of course).  It's fun to look back and appreciate the highlights from the past. Although I may long for the days of the past, I must always remember that life is beautiful and realize that many beautiful adventures lie ahead.

New Adventure

I am so excited! Very happy. I have decided to start my own clothing line! I have a degree in product development in textiles and clothing and have been looking for a corporate position since I graduated a year ago now. I really want to work for a company that I believe in and I am a good worker. I haven't had much luck with a 'big girl' job though so it dawned on me: why not use my product development knowledge to develop my own product?! Genius! Well, it didn't just dawn on me at one moment. I've been thinking about it for some time but for the past few months I've been seriously thinking about it. I can do this. I can.  I've interned for two developing designers and after having seen what they do and absorbing that, I believe I am finally ready. Some preparation must be done of course. First, a business plan must be written. This will include a lot of research. I hope to finish it in a month. A business plan is always evolving though so I want to at least have a solid, professional plan written by then. Then make a website, and most importantly... DESIGN! I know it's a daunting task but I am in love with the idea and love makes everything easier :) My new adventure awaits!

Materials

So, it has occurred to me that I am a suppressed shop-a-holic. I don't go shopping because I don't have additional funds that I can spend on unneeded items. At one point in time, I went shopping all the time. It was when I had my first real job. I worked 2 jobs one summer and made good money. I lived at home and was a college student and since I had a scholarship, I didn't have any expenses except for the gas my car needed. I worked at a clothing store and I'm pretty sure they hired young girls so that our paychecks would go right back into the store. I bought a lot of clothes, and I mean A LOT. I am now much more responsible with money. Honestly, I think this has a lot to do with the aforementioned fact that I don't have a lot of money to begin with now. I am not one to have a credit card and buy things with money I don't have. I'm not THAT bad. I only go grocery shopping and although I recently worked in a mall for 8 months, I wouldn't walk around and browse the mall. I would just go in to work and straight out so that I would not be tempted. I was on the mission to find a plastic tumbler today though because I see them online all the time and really want one, but I can purchase one myself and decorate it at home for a fraction of the price of the online versions. I ended up not finding the tumbler, but I found myself lusting after a cute top, nail polish, lip gloss and accessories. My mom told me something that is very true: if I go out every single day to a store, I will find something I would like to buy. There is a plethora of items being marketed to me every single day. Will I die if I don't buy all the items I want? Of course not. Will I be sad. Not really. Maybe a little. Honestly though, I have so much clothes, I can basically go shopping in my own closet. I am learning to be content with what I have because honestly I don't need anything more. Although wanting things in life drives us to do and be more, I will concentrate on non-materialistic things to be driven for. Like inner peace. That's a good one.

Reality

Today feels weird. You know how you wake up from a dream and the feeling from it stays with you through the morning. Yeah, it's that kind of morning. I didn't sleep well last night. I kept waking up and feeling scared. I really do wonder what dreams mean. I know that there are dream experts that can interpret dreams, but are they 100% sure what they mean? Something that brings me comfort this morning is that, the more awake I get, the better I feel. The fact that my reality is making me happy is a very big comfort to me. I have been finding that I can't wait to get up in the mornings because I'm so excited about the day to come. At least then, even if  my dreams are bad, I can wake up to reality and be happy in what is real.

The beginning ...and a promise

I've never thought of having a blog before. In fact, I didn't ever think anyone would be interested in what I have to say or rant about. It has occurred to me though that I very much enjoy writing and although no one might read my entries, it will be fun to create them :)

It is now 21 days into the new year. I have never made resolutions for myself but this year I made more of a promise to myself, which in essence is kind of the same thing I suppose. I have promised myself that I will spend more time with my friends. I know this might seem silly, but I am a homebody by heart and rarely hang out with people when given the opportunity. I'm afraid my friends will end up in my dreams later. "What does she mean by that?" you may be asking yourself. Well, the vast majority of time, the characters that are in my dreams are people I went to school with (elementary and high school). This has been the case for me ever since I was little. For the longest time, I have pondered why these individuals always fill my dreams. It hasn't been until recently that I feel as though I have discovered why this is. I never really hung out with any of my classmates. After waking up from my dreams, many times I fell like crying and I really miss these people. Kinda weird, huh. I feel like calling them up or facebooking them and seeing how they're doing but fear that I will scare them off because as stated before, I never really hung out with any of them. I feel as though my subconscious is telling me that I need to do things now or I will regret my lack of action later. So, I am going to call up some friends and see if they want to watch a movie tonight. It may be a movie at my home, but I have to start somewhere...